Things I Don’t Feel Guilty About Today …

Mummy guilt … It’s everywhere – including, yes, in mothers’ groups. So we were thrilled to see a post in the Inner West Mums Facebook group that encouraged mums to not feel guilty about all the less-than-perfect things we do as parents.
In the post, the member shared a list of the things she chooses not to feel guilty about and invited others to add to it. And the Inner West Mums leapt in with their own admissions. There was much applause, laughter,  and more than a few members taking notes on others’ rather ingenious life hacks. Here is an edited selection of our favourite responses.
Things I Don’t Feel Guilty About Today …

Aldi hummus – sure I could make my own but I can’t bothered.
Aldi gozleme (see above).
I ran out of fruit for school lunches so gave them a roll-up.
I sometimes order a sundae at the drive-through and eat it in the car when my kids are asleep.
I ate Mcdonald’s for lunch because I felt like a cheeseburger and didn’t have my kids with me.
I stuffed myself with tiny teddies just to make it till bedtime.
Feeding my kids meatballs in gravy on a roll for dinner. Not a vegetable in sight.
At least once a week we have ‘freezer tapas’ – basically any bits I can find in the freezer and thrown in the oven. In my head I’m a no-waste hero.
I bought Aldi fish fingers (yep, the box of 40) ’cause my husband’s going away next week and that’s what we’re having for dinner. For three nights. With tomato sauce, not lemon juice.
I made nuggets and chips for dinner … for me and the hubby too.
Contemplating pizza for dinner again.
Had Indian takeaway for dinner again.
I let my daughter watch CBeeBees at dinnertime as it means she’s staring mindlessly at the screen so I can shovel food into her mouth.
Fed my boys in the bath ’cause I couldn’t be bothered cleaning up their bolognaise mess (rinsed their hair with mince meat water).
I haven’t read any books that have won literary awards since 2012. I have, however, read more than a few articles about Harry and Meghan.
I enjoy watching House Rules and Masterchef and don’t enjoy QandA.
I binge-watched The X-Files so much during my pregnancy that my son recognised the theme tune the first time he heard it and smiled and smiled and smiled.
I let my son watch Peppa Pig on my phone so I could sleep for an extra 20 minutes.
Sat my four month old in front of The Real Housewives of NYC and let him watch the whole thing (great cure for teething screaming BTW).
I recall saying to my children. ‘If you watch the whole episode of Playschool I’ll give you a biscuit.’
The iPads are on and not because I’m getting housework done.
My friend and I took the kids to the pub for lunch to ‘check out the new play area’.
At 3 pm I muttered to myself, ‘Is it too early for wine?’
I sometimes pour my wine into a coffee cup post school pick-up so I seem like a ‘normal’ mum.
Said ‘Sorry, hon. You’ll have to wait a minute. It’s Mummy coffee time.’
Said ‘Sorry, hon. You’ll have to wait a minute. It’s Mummy wine time.’
I haven’t washed my son’s hair in over a week because drying it is a form of exorcism … so I just pretend it doesn’t stink.
I remind myself that washing hair too often is really bad for the scalp.
I finally washed my daughter’s hair and had to give her chocolate biscuits before and after.
I’m bribing my kids to tidy their hovels with chocolate sundaes.
I can see multiple dust balls on the floor and that’s OK … bit of dirt is good for kids’ gut flora.
I dangled snake lollies in front of my two year old to ‘guide’ him to the car.
I have been known to throw lollies into Miss 2.5 year old’s seat and told her if she wants it she has to get it.
I taught my two year old to swim by encouraging him to swim to a beer can.
The swear jar my son set up for me will make him a millionaire by ten.
Couldn’t find my daughter’s school socks this morning. She said don’t worry I’ll wear yesterday’s. I didn’t argue!
A kid ‘stole’ my kid’s school homework folder and I don’t have to do a boring reader.
I volunteered to do the dishes just so husband could do the boring reader, then promptly shut the door, poured a glass of wine and turned up the Rumours album.
Giving my son three nights off his readers so I can get them to bed early and watch Queen of the South on Netflix!
I sent my kid to bed with the iPad so I didn’t have to watch the end of Paw Patrol.
I promised my four year old baby cino and banana bread in the morning if she would please, please, please just go to bed.
I threatened my three year old that if she gets out of bed again I will be walking her outside to the bin with her iPad.
I went out to get shopping and then sat in the car park reading my phone so the kids would already be in bed when I got back.
I do not feel guilty about my online shopping hitting exponential highs during 3 am feeds nor the three parcels that arrived on our doorstep today, one of which I have no idea what’s inside.
I do not feel guilty that I am overseas doing a job I love and using FaceTime to say goodnight to my loves.
My girls are in bed waiting for me to say goodnight but I’m on Facebook reading this post.
… OMG, Aldi has gozleme. How did we not know this?!
Image © lenanichizhenova / 123RF Stock Photo
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