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Travelling with neurodivergent children

A recent post in the Inner West Mums closed Facebook group asked for advice on travelling with neurodivergent children. For most parents, travelling with children in general can be challenging. Throw neurodivergence into the mix of busy airports, noisy, bumpy planes, unfamiliar places and cultures, new foods, and a shift from the comforts and routines of home, and the challenges can be extremely great for both child and parent.

We were so impressed with one of the responses, from longtime member of the group, Genevieve Rowney, a neurodivergent advocate and parent of neurodivergent children and former psychologist, that we asked her permission to share some of her excellent tips on our website.

 

When travelling with neurodivergent children, the first thing to keep in mind is that your child may respond to the shift in environment by being more oppositional than perhaps is usual.

Genevieve says: ‘The first thing to remember and hold in your mind at all times is that the oppositional reaction is a defence mode. Your child is feeling anxious. The anxiety drives the need for control. This helps shift to a lens of compassion and problem solving.

‘I’ve learnt to not react in the moment but think “Ah, ok, I’m going too fast, they need more time/info/preparation/to be heard … etc”.’

Genevieve maintains that key to successful travel with neurodivergent children is including the children in planning the itinerary and preparation and providing information at key points ahead of and during the trip.

‘We recently survived five weeks abroad (Dubai, Italy, UK) and started prepping months before hand,’ says Genevieve. ‘Something that helped immensely was creating a visual plan of the schedule of the trip on the wall.’

Genevieve recommends getting a large piece of butchers paper and drawing a number line showing the days of travel. Next, draw on any travel days and add in photos of any fixed places you are staying and people you are seeing. Display the travel timeline in your kitchen or living room where all can see and refer to it.

The next step is to start researching activities with the kids. Watch videos on YouTube or TikTok together, visit relevant websites about places you want to go to. Ask your children (if they’re old enough) to send you any pics, videos or links of places they are interested in and add these onto the travel timeline.

Importantly, says Genevieve, don’t make it a big deal – just subtly send them images, videos and links here and there and emphasise that there’s no pressure to view or watch them.

With these steps, your children should have a good idea of the places and people they will be visiting during the trip well before you begin travel.

Another tip Genevieve shares is that it can also be very helpful to make it feel like home when you are away.

‘Take creature comforts with you. Help make the unknown feel familiar.

‘As much as we’d like to pack light we find taking familiar things is more helpful. Take favourite blankets, clothing and gaming devices (we have been known to travel with gaming laptops and PS5s).’

For children who are selective eaters, it can also help to take favourite basic foods, so there is always something available for them no matter what local cuisine options you might encounter.

‘Peanut butter, Vegemite and Nutella, two-minute noodles have kept mine alive at times,’ says Genevieve. ‘Usually my two youngest share a suitcase and we use the spare suitcase to carry our “special stuff”.’

Foodstuff aside, Genevieve also suggests investing in a portable modem to ensure smooth and reliable internet access for long car trips or overseas.

Another must-bring for Genevieve is a travel stroller that can be folded and stored in the overhead locker space on planes. ‘These are brilliant for creating a safe, comfortable, and familiar space for kids needing some reprieve from the sensory overload of travelling. We often wheel our youngest kiddo straight up to the plane door then transfer straight to seat. We’re stretching the friendship with our stroller as far as we can go; our youngest is six and we still take it! He stays in it less now, so it also doubles as a bag/iPad/lunchbox carrier.’

Sunflower lanyards – a hidden symbol that you have a disability that may not be immediately apparent and that you may need understanding or a helping hand – can also be highly useful. You can learn more about them and order one at https://hdsunflower.com/au/

Genevieve says: ‘Not all families are comfortable using them; however, they came in very handy when one of my extended family members became quite distressed at an international airport. She was immediately offered very compassionate assistance from staff.’

Finally, Genevieve says, don’t be shy about asking for help. ‘We discreetly notify airline staff when we arrive at the gate that we are boarding with neurodivergent children. We are always treated with care and assistance; you will be able to board first before the rush. Whilst it means you’re onboard for a few extra minutes, we find the peace and tranquillity of an empty plane has a huge impact on the kids’ (and mum and dad’s) stress levels. We usually opt to exit last too to avoid the rush.’

 

Image: Colin + Meg/Unsplash

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